fallen stars collide.

[kade trent.]

let's take what hurts and write it all down
on these paper walls and this empty house
and when all our ink runs out,
we'll burn into the ground

-------------------------------------------------------

Kade wasn’t a complete idiot. Though there were some out there that would say that was most definitely debatable, there was some evidence that proved that he wasn’t. Like the fact that he had actually been able to graduate from high school without attending one session of summer school or having to skip out and get his G.E.D. instead. Though, along with that was the fact that he hadn’t gone on to college and had turned down a few athletic scholarships. Those facts might label him as a little bit of an idiot, but not a complete idiot. Kade had done drugs before, which could make him a complete idiot, but he had stopped and was currently clean of most of things. That made him less of an idiot, right? Kade was in agreement that he was an idiot at times and was definitely a screw up at life. How else would he find himself in the mess that he was currently in? He was at some summer camp in Maine, working as a counselor along side of an ex-girlfriend who had recently just told him that he had a three-year-old daughter. If things weren’t bad enough with that, when he had told her current girlfriend about it, she hadn’t reacted so well and he was trying to work his way out of the dog house on that one. Now, he was in the Laundromat of the camp and trying to get the freaking dryer to work for him. It wasn’t that hard. You just put the wet clothes in, add a dryer sheet or two, shut the door, turn the little knob thing to the setting that you wanted, pressed the button and there you go. Within the hour, your load of clothes should be dry and then you could take them out and fold them. Too bad that it wasn’t working out that simply for Kade, and that he was showing himself as a complete idiot for not knowing how to work a dryer. He just didn’t get it. Why would the stupid machine let the door close? He had checked; there was nothing blocking the door from latching closed. He had already put his money into the machine. Why in the hell wasn’t it freaking working? His frustration with the machine, added in with everything else, boiled over at that point and he tried slamming the door shut. Not once, or twice, but three times. Obviously, that wasn’t going to work.

The loud clanging made by his attempts to shut the damn dryer door had caught the attention of the others that were currently in the Laundromat, as most of them were staring at him wide eyed now, probably wondering what the hell was wrong with him. A girl, a camper that Kade recognized but couldn’t remember the name of, made her way over and calmly shut the door. It went just like that, not giving her any trouble whatsoever. ”Thanks,” he said through a small, forced smile. The dryer kicked on, his clothes set tumbling, and the girl walked away to go back to tending her own laundry. Kade just shook his head, leaning back against the table in the middle of the Laundromat, one arm crossed over his middle while he brought his other hand to his face, rubbing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose lightly. What a shitty week this was turning out to be. Kade didn’t know how many campers he had snapped at because of his mood not being so friendly itself, but he knew that he had done it a lot and the campers had hardly deserved it. He wasn’t really on speaking terms with Chrissy, the mother of his daughter. They were both counselors, so they had to be around each other a good bit. Polite conversation was made when it had to be, but other than that, Kade really didn’t want to talk to her right now. Brooklyn, the girl that he was currently with, was apparently pretty upset with him over the whole ordeal. Why, he didn’t know seeing as he hadn’t known about the child himself, but she wasn’t really on speaking terms with him, either. Enough words were said, but none of them very nice. That left Kade pretty much on his own except for a few of the girls that were still falling at his feet, but he wasn’t about to confide unto them all of his problems. He didn’t know them well enough to even discuss the weather with them, let alone the fact that he had a child or was having a forbidden relationship with a camper that was currently more or less on the rocks. Then, there were a few guys from his cabin that took care of him in the way of supplying alcoholic beverages, but Kade wasn’t about to talk to them about all of this, either. There was really only one other person in this entire camp that he could talk to, and she was sitting no less than twenty feet from him.

Kade almost had a stroke when he had been looking through the roster of campers and saw Brittany Morgan’s name there. How in the hell had she wound up all the way in Maine? At this same camp? Kade still didn’t know, fore he hadn’t really spoken to her. Actually, he hadn’t said one word to her. Why? Well, their past was complicated, but it all came down to they were to the point of seriously disliking one another. Kade had made it a point to avoid her, and it seemed that she had made the same point to avoid him. Sure, they knew that the other was there, but they never acknowledged the other’s presence, knowing that if they would there would be one hell of a fight to follow. When Kade had entered the Laundromat earlier, he had known that she was there, but had walked past her like she wasn’t, saying hi to a few of the campers that he knew, and purposefully missing her along the way. But, even through all the anger and bitterness that was felt toward her, Kade couldn’t help but to still feel like that he could talk to her if he needed to. There was a bond that existed between them that rare ever found in life. He had known her since before he could remember, and there was a time that she was his entire world. But, the saying is true. You don’t make someone your world because when they leave, you have nothing left. There was a fight in their past that had left Kade broken and angry and bitter. Now, he was pretty much patched up from their argument, but the negative feelings were still there. Even so, that bond was there, and he knew that deep down, they were still kind of sort of friends, though neither would admit to it or want it to be there. Kade let the hand that had been at his face fall and took a glance behind him, in the direction that Brit was sitting. Her nose was in a book, no surprise there. He wondered what would happen if he went over and sat down beside of her and just started talking. Right now, it didn’t really matter what would happen. Kade didn’t care if he burst into flames because of being so close to her; he needed to let some of this out, and it needed to be to her. For some ungodly reason. He hated admitting that he still needed her, but he did in some ways, like now for instance. He just hoped that she would stick to that promise that they had made when they were little kids, that no matter what, they could always fall back on each other when the needed the support. He might not like to stick to it, but he would if she ever came to him. She could at least do the same.

Kade pushed away from the table and walked around it so that he came to stand in front of Brit where she sat on a little bench inside of the Laundromat. Well, here goes nothing. ”Hi.” Brilliant first word said to her in almost a year, but please, keep going. This was all going to be very hard for him to say, so he decided that the best way to go about it was to just spit it all out at once and hope that she just didn’t get up and walk away from him. ”Look, I know you don’t like me, and I’m not your biggest fan right now either, but I have to talk to someone and you’re the only person left that I can talk to in this whole damn camp. You don’t have to actually listen, but if you choose to do so, you can laugh and judge and criticize all you want to at my pathetic little life. I just need you to be there.” The words had spilled from this lips quickly, him hating it more and more as he kept going, but knowing at the same time that he didn’t have any other options. Kade was usually a person that was good on his own and didn’t have to talk to anyone, but everything had been piling up and if he didn’t at least talk about some of it soon, he was going to spontaneously combust. And that wouldn’t be a pretty sight. ”Is that okay?” he asked, sighing heavily afterward. He hated that he actually had to ask her for anything, not only because of this feud that existed between them, but because he had never had to ask her if it was okay to just sit down and talk with her before. But, that was the price that one paid for being the way that he was and screwing up too many times with her. Too bad it was all one big misunderstanding, and it was too bad that she didn’t realize it and that he wasn’t about to tell her about that. He just wanted to tell her about this latest screw ups, not his, and her, old ones.

Brittany ;;

[brittany.ღ.morgan]

Life had not been completely good to Brittany Morgan. Up until the time she was 15 everything had been somewhat fine, but not completely. She was a cancer story, a statistic, and most of all she was completely torn apart. She’d never admit it, or course. Admitting that she was suffering from so much was just not something that she could ever do. Brit would be the first to admit that she had changed over the years, but she would tell you how or why. That story was one that she didn’t want to share with anyone, especially not the people at this camp. No one really knew the history of Kade and Brit; some didn’t even realize that there was a history. Very few girls paid attention to Brit, and that was mostly because Kade pretty much ignored her. She knew that had they been on speaking terms, she would have probably been one of the most hated girls at this camp. Things weren’t like that, though. Looking at the two of them now you’d almost certainly claim that they absolutely hated each other; you’d never believe that at one time they were practically inseparable. Life had been good then, it had felt right, but the thought of even going back to something like that terrified Brit. She had always dreamed of a love like that, always wanted it. Now the thought of having anything like that with Kade again just sent her over the edge.

So what had happened between Kade Trent and Brittany Morgan you ask? A lot. There story is one that should be wrote down, published, and sold for the world to see. Those two passion filled summers are better than any fiction book that you’ll ever read in your life, but the ending sucks worse than that of Romeo and Juliet. There was a time when Brit didn’t have to question how her relationship with Kade was going. She didn’t have to question where they stood or what they were, and she didn’t have to worry over what the future held, because she was more than certain it was one with Kade. She certainly didn’t have the worry that she’d ever loose him to another girl, and she never once questioned the way she felt about him. Those were the days that caused Brit the most pain. She couldn’t look back on them without yarning for them to come back, or beating herself up over the fact that she was half of the reason they didn’t exist anymore. She hated herself for everything that had happened, but she hated Kade for it even more.

You could honestly say that Brit and Kade had been deeply in love. Nothing had ever been able to stop them as a team; together they were unstoppable. That was all in the past though. Things just weren’t like that now. The years since Kade left had been hard as hell, and so much had happened that Brit sometimes couldn’t tell one event from the next, or often forgot when they had happened. What was worse was that, this time, he hadn’t come back. No, she had accepted a long time ago that he wasn’t coming back, and she had moved on and learned to live with it. Never in a million years had she expected to see him again, and so when she noticed him the first day of camp, it was a miracle that she didn’t fall out of her seat. She hadn’t made it through the opening ceremonies, because she was sick on her stomach and had to get away before she hurled on the girl in front of her. She hated that she had reacted that way, she shouldn’t have felt that way at all. She did, though, and it only made everything worse.

Brit hadn’t talked to Kade once since she had come to this camp. Of all the places in the world she had to be, it just had to be somewhere that Kade was. It was difficult to see him, to hear his name muttered among the other girls, and to see the way he completely ignored her. She’d never openly admit that she felt that way, of course. No, she’d never tell a single soul how she was feeling, and she hadn’t told a soul about her history with Kade. He ignored her, and she did everything in her power to stay away from him. There were times that she couldn’t avoid it, that she had no choice but to see him, to hear his voice. She suffered through those times, forcing herself to never once look in his direction. Her act worked, though. No one ever suspected that there was anything between them. Avoiding him was the only way to keep her temper in check, and the only way to keep herself under complete control.

That day in the Laundromat was horrible. When she walked in and saw that Kade was in there, fighting with one of the dryers, she almost ran for the door, completely unworried about her clothes. Unfortunately someone ruined that by shouting her name from the other side of the room. Her escape had been completely ruined. So she had settled back, staying as far away from him as possible. Brit had noticed how he said his greetings to everyone else in the room, and once again ignored her completely. She’d never admit, of course, that it tore at her chest even more at that point and knotted her stomach even more. She felt sick, almost like she couldn’t breathe. No one noticed her, though, because Kade was in the room, and she was glad. She knew that she had to look like she was about to vomit on the floor, and for anyone to acknowledge that would have made her whole situation even worse.

Somehow she managed to gain control over herself. She continued with the laundry that she had to do, and she let herself forget he was there. To make that more complete, she stuck the headphones to her iPod in her ears and cracked the music so that she couldn’t hear the chatter from anyone around her. Once her clothes were in the washer, she sat down on one of the seats nearby and grabbed her book from the green messenger bag that hung around her shoulder. She found the page she had marked from her previous reading and continued on with the story. She had made sure to stay away from the love stories, which meant that her favorite book, Twilight, was tucked at the bottom of her trunk with the other two books in the series. In her hands now was one by James Patterson, Maximum Ride: The Angel Experiment to be exact. It was full of suspense and action, no mushy love stories. This had to be the third time that she had read through this book, and the others that she had with her had been read so much they were practically falling apart. She had reasons for reading them, though, and so she read them constantly.

She was lost in her book, and her music had completely cut her off from the rest of the world. “He bent down and looked into my crate with a gentle, rueful expression. My heart almost stopped, and I fell backward off my heels…” That’s what happened when he approached her. Brit didn’t have to see or hear anything to know that Kade Trent had just walked up to her. She knew him, and there was just something about them; she always knew when he was nearby. Brit could smell his cologne as he moved even closer and stopped in front of her. She could feel her heart almost stop beating as she glanced up from the page of her book to see Kade’s beautiful, perfect hazel eyes staring down at her.“Oh no…” was her only thought. She reached into her bag and turned her music off, then glanced at him once more before she looked back down at her book. The way she moved, it looked like she had turned the music up even louder, he’d never know that she had turned it off to see what he had to say… or do. ”Hi.” Oh, that was brilliant. She simply glanced up at him, then looked back down at her book and flipped the page, showing that she clearly wasn’t interested in anything that he had to say.

His next words left his lips so fast that she barely heard them. She didn’t strain to hear them, though, because it didn’t matter. She knew that a part of her wanted to hear what he had to say, but she had to keep up the appearance that she couldn’t care less. ”Look, I know you don’t like me, and I’m not your biggest fan right now either, but I have to talk to someone and you’re the only person left that I can talk to in this whole damn camp.” That wasn’t exactly what she had expected, but she didn’t move, not letting on to the fact that she was actually listening. He was wrong about her not liking him, but she wasn’t about to tell him that, and she hated the second part of what he said. She never once let on to this, though, which was amazing for Brit considering that her whole emotional state was an open book 99.9% of the time. “You don’t have to actually listen, but if you choose to do so, you can laugh and judge and criticize all you want to at my pathetic little life. I just need you to be there.” Oh, so it was fine and dandy when he needed her to be there for him, but not the other way around? She almost screamed at him, but she stopped herself. Now wasn’t the best place to get into a fight, which was probably inevitable given the current situation. She simply sighed, reaching into her bag, moving as if she was turning her iPod off, then pulled the headphones from her ears.

Before she could say anything, though, Kade spoke again. ”Is that okay?” That stopped her dead. Did he really think that he had to ask? Apparently he was feeling the same way she was about all of this. Brit simply sighed again, marking her place and shutting her book, then sliding it into her back as well. She looked up at Kade, her dark eyes not looking into his eyes, but instead at his forehead; she nodded. Brit knew that she couldn’t speak, because her voice would either break or she would say something completely harsh and irrational. That wasn’t what needed to be done. Staying silent was the best road to take, she knew, and that was what she was going to stick with.“Here we go again…”

[kade trent.]

This camp was nothing but one secret after another, was it? It seemed that every single camper had something to hide, something that no one else knew about them and that was the way they wanted to keep it. Kade had heard some rumors about some of the campers and the reasons that they had ended up at this camp, or just about things that they had done in general. Some of them were pretty messed up, and some he could understand, but so far, he had yet to hear of one person that had as much to hide as he did. It wasn’t enough that he had to be around Chrissy and work with her as a co-counselor while hiding the secret of their child, or to be keeping the last three years of his life out of all topics of conversation, or to be around Brooklyn and act like they were nothing more than just friends when they were really dating. No, that wasn’t enough at all, because on top of all of that, he had to be around and totally ignore the one camper that shared a common secret with him, and that would be the secret of who they had been once upon a time and not all that long ago. The thing that they hid from the camp was simple enough to explain, he supposed, but one that had the potential to tear both of them apart if revealed. Maybe not so much in the emotional sense that they would break down and pour their hearts out, but in the way that it would destroy the work they had put into rebuilding themselves after their falling out. Even though the secrets of his brother’s death, his record after, and the fact that he had a daughter with another camp counselor would put him at the head of the gossip mill, the one about him dating a camper would end up with him losing his job and on the first plane back to Seattle. Even with the consequences of those secrets being so great, it still felt like the secret that he shared with Brit was one that carried even more weight with it. Why that was, Kade wasn’t so sure yet, but he knew it was there.

Maybe that was why he felt at least half way comfortable with the idea of telling Brit all those other secrets. While their connection was strained and both would rather pretend it wasn’t there at all, Kade knew that he could tell her anything, and she wouldn’t betray him in the way of telling anyone else. She might not be the caring, understanding Brit of the past, but she would know better than to tell anyone else. That was part of that bond, part of the agreement that they had made all those years ago and had always honored. It was that, and the fact that compared to their secret, these other little problems of his that no one else knew about seemed, well, little. It wasn’t that they were important, or that they weren’t really problems at it. It was just that those screw ups seemed very fixable compared to that of the ones that both he and Brit had made with their past. It was still in no way easy for Kade to admit that he needed to talk through his problems and let her in on the recent happenings of his life, but he knew that he was going to have to do it. That was another thing that he really didn’t like so much about their relationship at the moment. Any other time, it would have felt like a great comfort, maybe even a blessing that this strong of a bond existed between them. Now, in times when he would really rather not talk to her, that bond, that sense of need, felt more like a curse than anything else. But, he didn’t have any other choices now, did he? No, because if he had had other choices, he sure as hell wouldn’t have approached Brit in the camp Laundromat and started rambling on about needing to talk to someone. He was Kade Trent, the boy that never needed anyone. Until now.

When Brit had reached into her bag as he had approached, Kade had had no way of knowing if she was turning her music that she was listening to up to drown him and his words out, or to turn it off so she could amuse herself with what he had to say. With his first spoken word, her dark eyes had taken a glance up at him, and Kade had known then that she was listening. Anyone else might have still questioned this, but Kade knew Brit well, even now, and knew what she was doing. So, he had gone on with his little rant. What she was thinking, well, he thought that he could still probably see that if he got a good look into her eyes, but he wasn’t looking for that right now. He was just looking for some sort of acknowledgement to let him know that yes, it was okay with her if he just randomly started telling her the details of his latest screw ups and all his dirty little secrets, or no, she could really care less if he needed her at that moment. The headphones were removed from her ears, and a show was made as if she hadn’t already turned off her iPod. A few sighs passed through her lips, and then Brit marked her place in the book that she was reading, putting it aside and looking up to him. Kade saw that she wouldn’t look him directly in the eye, but she had given him enough acknowledgement to show that she would go along with his request. This was further shown by a nod of her head, and Kade felt something like relief come over him. Honestly, what would he have done if she made a scene of it and walked out on him, or simply refused to acknowledge his presence there at all? Talk about your awkward moments. Though, it really wouldn’t have been all that surprising. After the showdown with the dryer door earlier, people would probably just chock it up to Kade having a really bad day and hardly even see it as something out of place. He seemed to be having a lot of bad days this week.

All right, he had the green light to start talking, but where to begin? There wasn’t anyone in close proximity to them, and with the noise from the washers and dryers running, no one would be able to hear what Kade was saying. That is, if he were sitting down beside of her where he wouldn’t have to speak loudly enough so that she would be able to hear him over all the commotion. So, in a quick, fluid movement, Kade sat down on the bench beside of Brit, leaving room so that they weren’t touching in anyway, or were even all that close, but he was closer than he had been standing. People probably thought this was odd, him coming over and sitting down beside of this girl that he had otherwise ignored all summer, but whatever. Kade wasn’t thinking about the other people right now. He was just focusing on the task at hand. He had never been the type of guy to beat around the bush about things, so why not just start out and tell her the whole thing? That would use the least amount of words and take up the least amount of time possible. Here goes. ”All right, so you know Chrissy Maddison, the Sequoia counselor?” Of course she would know Chrissy, but that wasn’t what struck him as odd about that moment. It was the fact that this felt like so many other times that he had just sat down and started pouring everything out for Brit to hear. This time, however, was really nothing like those times in the past. ”Well, she lived in Seattle about three years ago. To make a long story short, we dated, she left, and now she turns up again after all this time and tells me that I have a daughter. I’d like to think that it isn’t true, but the kid looks too much like me for it not to be true.” There was one thing down that he had to tell her. Now, to keep moving and get to the next. ”So then, I go to the girl that I am currently dating and tell her, thinking it’s the best thing, and I get a very unpleasant reaction. Now I feel like I’m walking on glass, afraid to do one more thing wrong but it’s not my fault I didn’t know about Kaydence, it’s Chrissy’s.” Maybe that was a bit of a harsh accusation, but Kade wasn’t thinking about anyone else’s feelings at the moment. ”Add to the mix that my girlfriend is one that I’m not technically supposed to be dating, I’m still having nightmares, and you’re here at this camp for some reason unknown to me, and you have my screwed up life in a nutshell.”

[brittany.ღ.morgan]

It’s amazing how time changes everything. Only two years ago Kade and Brit had been head over heels for one another, now they hated even being in the same room together. To say that things were strained would be a serious understatement, and the tension between them was obvious. Brit didn’t like how things had turned out, but there was honestly nothing she could do about it. She was a different person now, and there were a lot of things that were different, not just with her and Kade. When their relationship had started, Kade was the guy that never had a girlfriend, and Brit was an inexperienced child. Now Kade had a new girlfriend, and Brit was far from inexperienced. She had Kade to thank for that, but the world didn’t need to know it. Some things hadn’t changed, though. Brit still couldn’t hide how she felt about pretty much everything, and she was a ball full of emotions just waiting to explode. Kade seemed to still hold grudges better than anyone she knew, and she was more than sure his temper was just as fiery. It was all just a combination for one big disaster.

With all the differences, though, it seemed that some things just hadn’t changed at all. Brit knew that deep down she still cared about him, and that even after all of their time apart that they still shared a bond that no one else understood. That was half the reason she was sitting here talking to him right now. There would always be something between them, whether either of them wanted it or not. Still, Brit didn’t have to like that it was there. She had figured out how to disguise how she was feeling now, but she wasn’t so naïve as to think that Kade wouldn’t be able to see her cover-ups. He knew her to well, and she knew that he would be able to see everything; he was always able to see. It was important for her to avoid his eyes, because eye contact would break her completely. She didn’t want to see the anger, bitterness, or disappointment in his eyes. She couldn’t handle that, and she didn’t want to have to deal with it. She had to keep her head in the right place, or all hope of staying angry at him would be lost.

Brit watched Kade’s every movement. For a minute it looked as if he was going to say everything from where he was standing, but then he shocked her even more by sitting down beside her. She was surprised, but didn’t let the expression cross her face. Instead she shifted herself a little farther down on the seat, shifting her bag so that it was between them. She knew that he’d never get close enough to touch her, but she didn’t want to take any chances that either of them would get too close. Brit wanted as much distance as possible between them, but the fact that he sat down meant that whatever he had to say wasn’t for other ears. She didn’t want to admit that she still understood what his actions meant, that she could still understand everything he did and said. She did, though, whether she wanted it to be that way or not. Something that had once seemed like a gift from God now seemed more like a curse.

”All right, so you know Chrissy Maddison, the Sequoia counselor?” No, she had absolutely no idea who Chrissy Maddison was. Note the heavy sarcasm present. She had absolutely no idea what he was getting at, but she prayed that he got there fast. She couldn’t take this too much longer, it would drive her completely insane. She didn’t want to sit here any longer than possible. It would be far too much far too soon, and she didn’t know if she’d be able to control all of the bitter words that kept flying to her lips. ”Well, she lived in Seattle about three years ago. To make a long story short, we dated, she left, and now she turns up again after all this time and tells me that I have a daughter. I’d like to think that it isn’t true, but the kid looks too much like me for it not to be true.” Oh no. Brit didn’t need a mirror to know that all the color left her face, making her turn white. Kade had a kid? He was a father? That just didn’t seem possible. Along with the disbelief and shock that came with this, it felt like he had just stabbed a knife through her heart and twisted it around so that as much pain as possible could be reached. She felt like she couldn’t catch her breath at all. Mostly, though, she hated this reaction, and was glad that she was looking down at the floor so that he couldn’t see that she was staring with her mouth wide open in complete and total horror. If her perfect little world hadn’t been shattered a long time ago, that would have definitely done it.

If only it had ended there. ”So then, I go to the girl that I am currently dating and tell her, thinking it’s the best thing, and I get a very unpleasant reaction. Now I feel like I’m walking on glass, afraid to do one more thing wrong but it’s not my fault I didn’t know about Kaydence, its Chrissy’s.” If her last reaction hadn’t been bad enough, this one had to be worse. The knife was jammed harder into her chest, and it felt as if another one was rammed through her back. She just couldn’t seem to take this all in at once. Her head was spinning, his words ringing in her ears and nothing she could do could stop them. What she hated the most was what had brought on this reaction. Kade had another girl in his life. Brit knew it was that that hurt the worse, and the fact that he had just said that things were on the rocks didn’t make her feel any better. Brit hated this; she hated it more than anything. It didn’t matter how much she wanted to hate him, or how badly she wanted everything to just go away. No matter what she had a feeling this wouldn’t go away, and that sucked worse than anything else.

”Add to the mix that my girlfriend is one that I’m not technically supposed to be dating, I’m still having nightmares, and you’re here at this camp for some reason unknown to me, and you have my screwed up life in a nutshell.” If there was any other place to stab one of those knives she had been talking about, then this line would have put one there too. So he was adding her to his problems? She had figured it was that way, but hearing it just made everything even worse in her eyes. He thought that his life was messed up? He didn’t know the half of it! Even Brit would admit that Kade had dug himself into a hole that he probably couldn’t force his way out of, but she knew him well enough to know that he could get past all of this. What got to her the most at this point was why he felt that he could still talk to her about all of this. Sure she was probably the only person at this camp that knew him right down to his very soul, but even with their bond she knew that his temper always got in the way of every other feeling. Apparently this was affecting him a lot more than he was letting on, but Brit wouldn’t let herself admit that.

She stayed quiet for a few minutes, trying to collect her thoughts on everything. It was difficult to keep her face completely still, and she knew that she’d have to think before she said anything about any of this. Her current state of mind wasn’t exactly stable, and the smallest thing seemed to set her off anymore. Being this close to Kade had her blood pulsing through her veins, and she could feel her bitterness coming to the surface in ways that she really didn’t like. She knew that if she didn’t think about what she said that she would say something that would lead to a very fierce argument and it was sure to attract attention if that happened. Her secret past with Kade wouldn’t be a secret any longer, and that was something she seriously didn’t want happening. People would see her differently, she knew, and that bothered her. She didn’t want anyone to know that she had once fallen for the looks and charm that went along with Kade Trent. She didn’t want them to know that she had been hurt beyond fixing by him and everything else that had happened after he left. Most of all, she didn’t want to give him a reason to once again interrupt her life.

Brit took a deep breath, and then looked up at Kade. She didn’t know whether or not he wanted her opinion on anything, but he was going to get it. That was how things had always worked, and she wasn’t going to changed that now, even given the state of things. “Okay, I’m going to give this to you straight, because that’s the way things have always been and I don’t feel the need to make this conversation any longer than necessary.” Her words were rushed and stern and she knew that they were a lot harsher than they normally would have been. She had no desire to make him feel better, and so she felt no need to make herself sound nice and sweet. “First, whether or not you should be with this girl your with isn’t the question. Rules like that are just stupid and completely pointless.” She felt that it was completely true. Telling someone that they couldn’t get involved with someone else just wasn’t right, and no one would ever listen to it. She wasn’t surprised that Kade’s new girl was forbidden, but she was surprised that he seemed to want to keep it on the down low. She had never known Kade to be like that, but what did she know at this point.

“Second, if your girlfriend can’t accept the fact that you make mistakes like every other freakin’ person on this planet, then dump her ass and move on, that seems to be what you do anyway. Honestly, if she doesn’t seem to understand the way you are, then why in the hell are you with her?” The way she said it was even harsher than before, and it made her sound like she was trying to make this girl seem horrible. She didn’t even know this girl, but she did know that had the situation been different, she would have still said the same thing. Kade knew that Brit was honest, and that she wouldn’t lie to him; at least he should know that. It didn’t matter that things between them were bad. Had she been his friend instead of his ex-girlfriend, she would have still said the exact same thing. If he didn’t know that, it was his problem, not hers. “And really, there’s no reason that you should have to explain yourself to this girl because it’s not your fault that you didn’t know, its Chrissy’s.” Had they not been surrounded by several people from the camp they were both currently attending, Brit had absolutely no doubts that she would have been shouting this. The fact that she wanted her past with Kade to stay secret helped to keep her voice calm and low. It was amazing that she was able to do it, even to herself, but she kept herself fairly calm and reasonable. That had to be a miracle.

“Further more, you have to stop feeling responsible for all of this. Clearly you’re letting it get to you, and we both know how that usually goes.” The fact that he was having nightmares lead Brit to believe that he was still beating himself up over his brother’s death, and she knew where that usually lead to. She could only, for lack of a better word, hope that this new girlfriend was somewhat understanding to all of this. By the way Kade talked, though, it didn’t sound that way. “Lastly, why I’m here is the result of my nutcase mother and a couple of family friends who think I’m antisocial and need to make friends. Other than that, I don’t see where it’s any of your business.” She offered him a small, quirky smile, and then stood about a second before her machine went off. Without glancing back over her shoulder at him, she walked over to the machine and reached in to check on her clothes. She pulled them out of the machine and into the empty basket below it, and then started to stuff another load of clothes into it.

[kade trent.]

This was something like a suicide mission, right? There really wasn’t anything else that would fit what it was. Kade didn’t like to think that it was a desperate attempt, a sort of last resort, so suicide attempt was going to have to be what he went with. And really, that term was just as appropriate as the others were. The relationship that he and Brit shared was exactly loving. It was pretty much the opposite, and it was sometimes hard to believe that it had ever once been a loving relationship that people thought would last beyond the end of time. Even before they had been lovers, their friendship was one that was a very rare find among humanity, one that also seemed to be withstanding the test of time. Then, Kade had never once hesitated in going to Brit with his problems and venting them all to her. It was something that came as naturally as breathing, him and her. At least, back in those days it had been. Now, it seemed that it still came like breathing, but every single breath was a struggle, sharp and painful. The bond that existed between them was what kept that airway open, and that bond was what had brought Kade to attempt such a suicide mission in the first place. What had he really expected to happen once he told her what was happening in his life? He certainly knew better than to expect the old, kind Brit who would have reached out and took his hand in hers and made him feel like it all wasn’t that bad, like it was all going to be all right. Kade didn’t know if telling her all of this was going to have some unforeseen effect on her that he wasn’t going to like, or if she was just going to simply play the part of being there and nothing more. What happened after he was done talking was uncertain, and probably not going to be so much in his favor. Something like a suicide mission. Just without the death part.

If he was lucky. Kade and Brit might be on bad terms and he really wasn’t her biggest fan at the moment, as he had said, but he still knew her better than anyone else, and he could still read her like a book. That connection between them was something that he doubted would ever be closed, no matter what happened. It was also what dug down deep to his core and still made him care for the girl, though he would never, ever admit to such a thing. He knew that he had hurt her, but she had hurt him too, so that was the only thing that made him not feel guilty about that one, but he knew that she was avoiding his gaze for a reason, and he was thankful for it. As mentioned, he didn’t know what he had to say would do to her, and he didn’t want to see whatever it may be in her eyes, whether it was pain and sadness, or spitefulness and hate. Either would be enough to rip at that little part of him that still cared, and considering the fragile state that he was already in, he didn’t know if he could take anymore. Kade didn’t like to admit to it too often, but he was only human. He wasn’t Superman, and he did have his limits as to how much he could take before he broke down completely. In the past, those limits had been expanded as he grew and learned to deal with it, but honestly, how much more was he expected to be able to take? He was making due with what he had on his plate right now, but adding what he might possibly see in Brit’s eyes would really be pushing his those limits of his to the breaking point. To anyone else, that might sound like nothing. Why should he care what he did to this girl now if she had broken him like she had in the past? It was simple really, if you were in the know of how they were. She was a part of him, and if he hurt her more now and he saw what he did, he hurt himself. Again, another way that this was like a suicide attempt. So yes, Kade was very grateful to her as she spared him of her eyes as he told her of his latest screw ups in life.

As he finished with his little life in a nutshell comment, he knew that he was to that uncertain point where he had no idea what to expect from her. A good slap in the face was a vision that he saw flash in his mind, and he knew that he probably deserved it for more than one reason, but he knew that she wouldn’t do it, not here. It was cause a scene and lead people to question what had happened. Then there went their secret out the window, and things wouldn’t be the same. When Brit sat in silence for a moment, Kade started to think that he had been right, that she would play the part of just being there, and then let him leave. That was fine. He didn’t like being so close for so long anyway, and just as he thought to start getting up, he saw Brit look up at him. So maybe he wasn’t going to get away that easily after all. She looked like she had something to say, and despite that anger and bitterness that was there, Kade would stay and listen seeing as she had shown courtesy and respect by listening to him. “Okay, I’m going to give this to you straight, because that’s the way things have always been and I don’t feel the need to make this conversation any longer than necessary.” Kade knew in the way that she had said it that he was going to see no sympathy from her and that she was going to tell him exactly like it was. He hardly noticed the sharpness of her tone and how harsh it had come across. All of these things were just a given between them, something that was understood without any explanation needed. Besides, he didn’t deserve sympathy from most people, and he especially didn’t deserve it from her. “First, whether or not you should be with this girl your with isn’t the question. Rules like that are just stupid and completely pointless.” Ha, she made it sound so simple. Of course the rule was stupid, but if she realized that it was a camp rule that could have him sent directly back to Seattle without passing go or collecting his two hundred dollars, then it might make some more sense. It was stupid, however, that the rule applied to him and Brooklyn like it did when she was just a year younger than he was and eighteen, therefore an adult capable of making her own decisions.

The rule that had them both keeping their relationship so quite was the one that was made so that creepy counselors couldn’t take advantage of campers, and so that the camp couldn’t get into trouble over some alleged assault case or other things like that. That wasn’t how it was with Kade and Brooklyn, but trying to tell the camp that wouldn’t fly at all, and Kade wasn’t about to go back to Seattle if he could help it. So, the relationship was kept a secret. Next point. “Second, if your girlfriend can’t accept the fact that you make mistakes like every other freakin’ person on this planet, then dump her ass and move on, that seems to be what you do anyway. Honestly, if she doesn’t seem to understand the way you are, then why in the hell are you with her?” Kade hadn’t really gone into depth about his and Brooklyn’s relationship for obvious reasons, and that was made clear as Brit said this. She had no way of knowing, but Brooklyn knew perfectly well that he had made mistakes, and she understood them because she had plenty of mistakes in her past as well. Brooklyn did understand Kade better than anyone else, except for Brit of course, and that was why he was with her. They had similar backgrounds, and they could relate, but instead of trying to make sense of all that to her, Kade got hung up on one little key phrase that she had used, and that was, ”then dump her ass and move on, that seems to be what you do anyway.” If they weren’t in the Laundromat and if they weren’t trying to keep their past just that, in the past, then he would have called her on that one right there and had it out with her. Kade would have very much liked to point out that it wasn’t him that had done the dumping; Brit had been the one to dump him and then slam the door in his face. She hadn’t really given him much of a reason not to move on, had she? No, not at all. Those where the things that sent some anger spiking through him, but he kept his words for later. With them being in this camp like they were, that argument was sure to come sooner or later, and he would wait for then to let his nasty words spew out. For now, he was on the listening side of things.

“And really, there’s no reason that you should have to explain yourself to this girl because it’s not your fault that you didn’t know, its Chrissy’s.” It was probably easy to be on the outside looking in on that one. Kade knew that he shouldn’t have to explain himself to Brooklyn because he really hadn’t known about the child that he had fathered three years ago. But, not everyone was so understand as what Brit would have been in the situation. Kade shouldn’t have thought it, but he had. If he had been dating Brit when this had come up and he had gone to tell her, he would have felt that he had to explain himself, but she would have been sweet and kind and caring, taking him in her arms and understanding without another word. Brooklyn, on the other hand, and pretty well flipped her rocker and not liked hearing it at all. Kade could understand why it would be such an upset, he guessed, but he felt that he shouldn’t have had to understand it. She should have been the one to understand him, and after a while, she had come around and mellowed out, but it still wasn’t like it had been. Maybe they would get back to it, but not today. That was for sure. “Further more, you have to stop feeling responsible for all of this. Clearly you’re letting it get to you, and we both know how that usually goes.” Brit should have known that Kade wasn’t going to be able to let go of it all just like that. But, she probably felt that she had to at least try and tell him that it wasn’t all his responsibility just one more time to see if it got through his thick skull. It didn’t work, but the effort was appreciated, he guessed. He knew that it wasn’t just her that was seeing that this was all getting to him. The whole of the Laundromat had just witnessed it during his episode with the dryer door, but she was now the only one that knew what it was that was getting to him, exactly. And yes, he knew how it usually goes when he took on too much. Basically, he did some dumb ass thing to further send his life into the ongoing downward spiral. It often varied, but whatever it was that he chose to do, it was never good and the result was never anything that ever remotely resembled happiness of any sort. While there were a lot of bad outside forces acting on him, Kade didn’t really help himself out when it got down to this kind of bad, either. He usually just found a way to make it that much worse.

“Lastly, why I’m here is the result of my nutcase mother and a couple of family friends who think I’m antisocial and need to make friends. Other than that, I don’t see where it’s any of your business.” Kade should have figured that she would take offense to his adding her in to his list of things that he was dealing with. But really, it wasn’t that he had meant that she was so much of a problem herself. It was just something else to factor into it all, and while he hadn’t been thrilled to learn that she was here he wouldn’t add her on as a problem, really. More like a conflict. It didn’t really matter how he had meant it, though. She had taken it as she had taken it, and there was nothing else to do about it now. He also should have known that this was an idea of her mother’s, because he knew that Brit would never voluntarily come to this place. Brit was right in saying that it wasn’t his business, and he hadn’t asked for any kind of response from her about it all. She had been the one to share the information, and he really didn’t want to know anymore. People from Fate were ones that Kade had purposefully cut out of his life, and he didn’t want to hear about them now to add to everything else that he had going on in his mind. Brit then stood, going to the machine that her clothes were in without another look cast in his direction. Kade knew that his clothes would be no where near dry, so he didn’t really have that as an excuse, but he wasn’t about to sit there and make them both suffer from the closeness of it all. So, he stood as well, not quite sure if he should offer up some kind of thanks or just show his gratitude by leaving her and not bothering her the rest of the time that they would be in the Laundromat together. Somehow, leaving without saying a word would seem overly rude, even for the level of anger that he felt toward her. She had held up her end and listened, and then she had even offered her opinion, which he really did put value in. ”Thanks,” he said, very much forced and hopefully loud enough so that he wouldn’t have to repeat it. That was when he took his leave, making his way back over to the damn dryer with his clothes in it, not daring to cast a look back in her direction. And it wasn’t so much all of his own doing and mindset. A girl that he knew was using a dryer beside of the evil one he had, and she offered him a smile and some friendly words. Naturally, Kade responded with a smile of his own, striking up an easy, light conversation with this girl as he leaned against the table on his elbow. The girl launched into a story about a canoeing experience, and as Kade smiled and nodded along, he couldn’t help but to take a quick, final look at the girl across the room, one that had once played such a huge part in his life, but was now represented by a gaping hole that she left wide open within him when she had closed that last door.